If there is any archetype that goes hand in hand with fear, it would be the Saboteur. Think about it, we have all been strung up with anxiety and fear at some point in our lives. This is fodder for the Saboteur. This archetype sneaks into your psyche as self-talk: words you tell yourself about yourself. It explains how you are not enough, that you are wrong, stupid, too big, too little, too good or any other similar message that pops into your head at the moment of choice. The Saboteur responds to your fears; it convinces you that what you fear is true. Much of this fear is derived from your tribe. Your tribe, made up of your personal group of individuals and institutions, feeds you your first ‘I’ messages from birth. Most times the intent is not to create unhealthy or unhelpful messages. If they think about what they are doing at all, they will say they are teaching you to behave in the way that is acceptable to the community into which you have been born.
Unfortunately, many of the messages we get from the tribe are judgmental, critical, and harsh. Even if there is no intent to harm, personal perception of the teasing, the yelling, and so on imprints on the mind and is believed. Children take the messages in, imbed them, and define themselves by them, whether they are true or not. It is important to understand; behaviors that are acceptable according to the tribe are what keep you safe, conforming, and manageable. This is habit on their part, tradition even, generations old and not necessarily kind or in alignment with your personal soul journey.
How does the Saboteur play out in life? Imagine you are a teen and you meet a beautiful, brainy girl. How automatic is it for you to think, she’s never going to fall for me, I’m too stupid. Look at her, she is exquisite and I am nothing special? How easy is it to manage saying hello to her? How easy is it to face up to the click at school or work and put the real you out there? Are the messages in your mind, they are so awesome; there is no way I will ever be allowed in that group. With better ‘I’ messages, you have what it takes to develop real friends. Imagine you are an office worker, diligent, careful, punctual, and accurate. A job opening is up that would be a good advancement for you. How do you talk to yourself about the possibility? Do you convince yourself that you will not get the job, that other people are smarter or more likable so why apply? If you are in an abusive relationship but you just can’t get out, what are those messages? I can’t take care of myself, I’m too stupid to get a job, I can’t make it on my own, I’ll never find someone to love me. My (abuser) cannot take care of him/herself. It’s up to me.
The fight for yourself can be very difficult, long and, yes, sometimes tedious but it is worth more than anything else you could do. Fear has played a big role in my own life. I was plagued with nightmares awake and asleep. Growing up and for a long while as an adult, I pretty much felt anyone was better than me. I never spoke up for myself; I always gave my right to choose what I wanted or what I liked away to teachers, friends, or siblings; You cannot be fulfilled, happy, or honestly productive if you must always wait for someone else’s blessing or permission.
What value do you place on you? Can you recognize your thoughts as yours or are they echoes of what you have been told by people around you? Is the voice that criticizes you in your head your voice or someone else’s? How hard is it for you to say what you want? For example, can you choose a restaurant when you are out with others? Simple things provide big clues. Do you recognize your Saboteur?
Remember to like and share this work if it speaks to you and, please, feel free to ask questions or make comments to further the discussion.
Love always,
Katherine
Unfortunately, many of the messages we get from the tribe are judgmental, critical, and harsh. Even if there is no intent to harm, personal perception of the teasing, the yelling, and so on imprints on the mind and is believed. Children take the messages in, imbed them, and define themselves by them, whether they are true or not. It is important to understand; behaviors that are acceptable according to the tribe are what keep you safe, conforming, and manageable. This is habit on their part, tradition even, generations old and not necessarily kind or in alignment with your personal soul journey.
How does the Saboteur play out in life? Imagine you are a teen and you meet a beautiful, brainy girl. How automatic is it for you to think, she’s never going to fall for me, I’m too stupid. Look at her, she is exquisite and I am nothing special? How easy is it to manage saying hello to her? How easy is it to face up to the click at school or work and put the real you out there? Are the messages in your mind, they are so awesome; there is no way I will ever be allowed in that group. With better ‘I’ messages, you have what it takes to develop real friends. Imagine you are an office worker, diligent, careful, punctual, and accurate. A job opening is up that would be a good advancement for you. How do you talk to yourself about the possibility? Do you convince yourself that you will not get the job, that other people are smarter or more likable so why apply? If you are in an abusive relationship but you just can’t get out, what are those messages? I can’t take care of myself, I’m too stupid to get a job, I can’t make it on my own, I’ll never find someone to love me. My (abuser) cannot take care of him/herself. It’s up to me.
The fight for yourself can be very difficult, long and, yes, sometimes tedious but it is worth more than anything else you could do. Fear has played a big role in my own life. I was plagued with nightmares awake and asleep. Growing up and for a long while as an adult, I pretty much felt anyone was better than me. I never spoke up for myself; I always gave my right to choose what I wanted or what I liked away to teachers, friends, or siblings; You cannot be fulfilled, happy, or honestly productive if you must always wait for someone else’s blessing or permission.
What value do you place on you? Can you recognize your thoughts as yours or are they echoes of what you have been told by people around you? Is the voice that criticizes you in your head your voice or someone else’s? How hard is it for you to say what you want? For example, can you choose a restaurant when you are out with others? Simple things provide big clues. Do you recognize your Saboteur?
Remember to like and share this work if it speaks to you and, please, feel free to ask questions or make comments to further the discussion.
Love always,
Katherine