Previously we learned that love is not an extreme emotion. Over the course of time we have manipulated the energy of creation (which is love). The energies that compromise creation are, in fact, created by us through our thoughts, actions, choices, and the energy patterns that we brought in for this life. These energies are archetypal patterns of behavior which Carolyn Myss has done a masterful job of explaining in her book Sacred Contracts. It is important to understand that everyone has four survival archetypes: victim, child, saboteur, and prostitute. Yes, everyone expresses these energies in some way. Because these energies are so intimately connected to how we create our world, we will discuss them individually over the next several posts.
Let’s start by talking about the victim energy. It is all around us. In fact, everyone manifests victim energy in some manner, at some point in life. Clearly, there are many victims being created every day by shootings, robberies, abuse, or war. Many times, becoming a victim is a quieter, less obvious process. These people may be called victims of circumstance. In the news recently was a story about the increase in suicides among the LGBTQ community. These children were born to challenge the limitations of thought and expression of love in their tribe. (A tribe is made up of family, friends, churches, teachers, and so on.) When the tribe reacts with fear and judgement, these young people feel guilt and fear. They become victims of the beliefs and attitudes of their tribe. Destruction of lives ensues.
One woman, whom we will call Eva, has had a hard life. She has above average intelligence and is well educated, but she has always felt excluded from important relationships including at home as a child. From these experiences, she has created isolation and fear. Additionally she has always had severe visual challenges. All of this has made her timid and it has created a poor me attitude. To anyone who will listen she will list her woes, her financial troubles, and her loneliness. There are things she could do that would ameliorate these difficulties, and yet, she has been unable to act on her own behalf. Well meaning, good hearted people have allowed her to live off of their largess. (This is the rescuer archetype and a whole other topic!) Even though this help comes from an altruistic intent, it does not empower her to stand up and fix what is wrong in her life. As is seen all over the world, giving a hand out is very different than giving a hand up.
In this case, victimization is not from an obvious external cause but is more from circumstance. Eva’s victimization is complicated by attitudes that reinforce it (poor me) and her choice to dis-empower herself (complaining and accepting charity) rather than stepping up and making changes. This story describes when being a victim pays off. Sometimes your wounds are your defining story. These wounds become your identity; define how you see yourself, and how you value yourself. You tend to defend your right to your wounds with all your energy. You use the power of your wounds to solicit sympathy, payback, and validation thus capitalizing on your misfortune.
Whatever the cause, how you step through victimization will determine how this archetypal energy will affect your life. Truth be told, you are meant to rise above your victimization. You are meant to learn from, grow, heal and assimilate your difficulties and your blessings. Your challenges, large and small, are meant to teach something. This something is only presented as part of the plan you had for yourself before you were born. Granted, the reason you would ever agree to these plans can be mysterious. Simply put, you agree in order to balance something, to learn something, or to teach something. There really is a plan.
Where do you see the victim in yourself? What does the victim fuel in you: revenge, defeat, shame? What response does it create in you? Are you playing it for all it is worth, or are you working every day to learn from, grow, heal and assimilate the lessons so you can move beyond it?
As always, I welcome questions. Questions will help frame our discussions. I invite you to like and share this post with your friends.
More on these topics can be read in my book, The Five Words, walking the healing path through extreme emotions to fulfillment.